Category Archives: FRANK ZAPPA

The Return Of The Son Of Monster Magnet

[FZ:] Suzy?
[Suzy:] Yes
[FZ:] Suzy Creamcheese?
[Suzy:] Yes
[FZ:] This is the voice of your conscience baby, uh . . . I just want to check one thing out with ya, you don’t mind, do ya?
[Suzy:] What?
[FZ:] Suzy Creamcheese, honey, what’s got into ya?

Cream . . . cheese . . .

Oh, wow, yeah, man
It’s happening, man
(Ba-jo-la jinga)
Flashing, man!
America’s wonderful!
Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful
It really makes it
Cream-cheese

(Wai-ka-vo-jeen-ya do-ra-man-ya . . . )
Oh, yeah, man, crazy, man, flashing, man
(Ma ga-yay-go va-tcha kam
Ba-jinga wai-ya ka-ma-tay . . . )
Oh, wow, yeah, man
It’s happening, man
(Ba-jo-la jinga)
Flashing, man!

Flashing, man, flashing man
Oh, wow!
Crazy, man
(Skies are blue, baby!)
It really makes it
Oh, no . . .
Yes!
(Funcha, funcha veni meh ka em ma ka-ta-cheek)
Flashing, man!
Flashing . . . flashing . . .

Moy jing-ya verana ba keesh-eet (faster)
Moytch moytch ver-rate ver-rate (faster, higher)
Ba-yay-ga va-yay . . .

Faster, faster, faster, faster, faster, higher, higher, faster, faster, higher, higher, higher, higher
Flashing . . . flashing . . . flashing . . .

Creamcheese, creamcheese, cream . . .
Creamcheese, creamcheese, creamcheese,
Creamcheese, creamcheese, creamcheese, creamcheese
Creamcheese . . .
Creamcheese
Creamcheese . . .
Creamcheese, creamcheese
Creamcheese . . .

[Reversed:]
Creamcheese . . . cream ch-ch-ch-cheese

Creamcheese . . .

[Speeded-up:]
(Cheese)
Cheese-cream, cream-cheese
(Creamcheese)
Creamcheese, creamcheese . . . creamcheese
(Creamcheese)
Creamcheese
(Creamcheese)
Creamcheese
Creamcheese, creamcheese
(Cream-chee-chee-cream-cheese)
Creamcheese, creamcheese, creamcheese, creamcheese,
Psychedelic creamcheese!
Creamcheese
Cream . . . cheese . . .

Did you pick up on that?

[Speeded-up:]
CREAM . . . cheese
Cream-cheese
(Creamcheese!)
Creamcheese
Creamchee . . . (ese!)
(FUCK!)
Creamcheese
Creamcheese
Creamcheese
Creamcheese
Creamcheese
Cream . . . cheese
Cheese, cheese-cream
I know, creamcheese
(Cream . . . )
Ah . . . a-ha!
Cream, cream, cream . . . CHEESE
CREAM-CHEESE!
CREAM-CHEESE!
Creamcheese, creamcheese, cream-m-m-m-cheese
(Cheese?)
A-ha-ha-ha! Cream, cheese
Creamcheese . . .

It Can’t Happen Here

It can’t happen here
It can’t happen here
I’m telling you, my dear
That it can’t happen here
Because I been checkin’ it out, baby
I checked it out a couple a times

But I’m telling you
It can’t happen here
Oh darling, it’s important that you believe me
(Bop bop bop bop)
That it can’t happen here

Who could imagine that they would freak out somewhere
in Kansas . . .
(Kansas . . . Kansas . . . Kansas . . . Kansas . . . )
(Kansas, Kansas, do-do-dun to-to
Kansas, Kansas, la la la)
(Kansas, Kansas, do-do-dun to-to
Kansas, Kansas)
Who could imagine that they would freak out in Minnesota . . .
(Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi
Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi . . . )
(Mama Minnesota, Mama Minnesota, Mama Minnesota,
Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma Mama Minnesota,
Mama Minnesota, Mama Minnesota,
Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma Mama Minnesota)
Who could imagine . . .

Who could imagine
That they would freak out in Washington, D.C.
(AC/DC bop-bop-bop)
(AC/DC do-do-do-dun, AC/DC
Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma, AC/DC)
But it can’t happen here
Oh baby, it can’t happen here
(AC/DC bop-bop-bop)
Oh baby, it can’t happen here
(AC/DC bop-bop-bop)
It can’t happen here
Everybody’s safe and it can’t happen here
(AC/DC bop-bop-bop)
No freaks for us
(AC/DC bop-bop-bop)
It can’t happen here
(AC/DC bop-bop-bop)
Everybody’s clean and it can’t happen here
No, no, it won’t happen here
(No, no, it won’t happen here)
(AC/DC bop-bop-bop)
I’m telling you it can’t
(AC/DC bop-bop-bop)
It won’t happen here
Bop-bop-ditty-bop
(I’m not worried at all, I’m not worried at all)
Ditty-bop-bop-bop
Plastic folks, you know
It won’t happen here
You’re safe, mama
(No no no)
You’re safe, baby
(No no no)
You just cook a tv dinner
(No no no)
And you make it
Bop bop bop
(No no no)
Oh, we’re gonna get a tv dinner and cook it up
(No no no no no no no!)
Oh, get a tv dinner and cook it up
Cook it up
Oh, and it won’t happen here
Who could imagine
That they would freak out in the suburbs!
(No no no no no no no no no no
Man you guys are really safe
Everything’s cool)

I remember (tu-tu)
I remember (tu-tu)
I remember (tu-tu)
They had a swimming pool
I remember (tu-tu)
I remember (tu-tu)
They had a swimming pool
I remember (tu-tu)
I remember (tu-tu)
They had a swimming pool

And they thought it couldn’t happen here
(duh duh duh)
They knew it couldn’t happen here
They were so sure it couldn’t happen here
But . . .

Suzy . . .
Yes yes, oh yes-I’ve always felt that
Yes, I agree man, it really makes it . . . yeah . . .
It’s a real THING, man, it really makes it

[FZ:] Suzy, you just got to town, and we’ve been . . . we’ve been very interested in your development
[Suzy:] Forget it!

Hmmmmmmmmm
(It can’t happen here)

Help, I’m A Rock

Help, I’m a rock
Help, I’m a rock
Help, I’m a rock
Help, I’m a rock

Hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah

Ay-yo ee-ow-ee-ow-ee
Veni-ma-no too mah
Veni veni ka toree tor (see’dra votra nee!)
Vedi-vedi ki-ta-la tom-bay
Vel-lay ka-la tay-la-tor
Vel-lay kay-la ta-la-sor
Vel-lay kay-lay ka-la-tor
Vel-lay kay-la sa-la-tay
Vor-a kor-ay tor-a-tor
Vel-la kay-la sa-la tch’ay
Vor-a kor-ay kay-a la kur’ad
Vor-a silli kay-t’ay tcha-to
Vor-a kay-ay tay-lay tay-ay tcha-to

Klanna-tholl
Klanna-tholl
Klanna-tholl
Pik-a-dill-a do-tchay
Pik-a-li-sa no-say (o-ooh)

Bi-ni-bi-ni me-ho-la-ka ta-ka-ho-ba
Say-kay pay-tay-ho-a-la tur-i-ca (Mee-oo-da-ra)
Chil-li pil-li ka-zi-o-bi-a bee bee bee bee (Do-dee-bop)
You know…(a-mad hee)

(Arrrrreeeeeeeeeeeee…)
Oooooooooooaaaaaaaaaa…
OOOOaaaaaaaaaaa………(ah, hah)

O-wee ya yo yo yo a-ki-o wee
A-ki-o-ka a-yi-a-ee
A-ki-o-ka o-ki-o-wee
A-ki-o-ka o-ki-o-wee
A-ki-o-ka o-ki-o-wee
A-ki-o-ka o-ki-o-wee
A ki-o-ka o-wee-say ya-vo

Pedi-goh
Pedi-koh
Ann-i tcho-ee-see-na
Per-a-ko-ee-say
Kar-ra
May-a-ta
Uh-oh
Uh-oh
Uh-oh
Uh-oh
Uh-oh
Hay-lo
Pray-lo
Say la do sa ka ho-say
Vay-lay ko say-let-a-no
Vay-la ka sa la to-shay
Va-la ko-lo-tay
Ay-o
Lay-o
Lay-o
Aaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaa
O-ha o-ha yew
Ah-yew
Lay la-fan
ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah

Help, I’m a rock!
Help, I’m a rock!
Help, I’m a rock!
Somebody!
Help, I’m a rock!
Please!
Help, I’m a rock!
Please!
Help, I’m a rock!
Please!
Help, I’m a rock!
Wow!
Help, I’m a rock!
Wow!
Help, I’m a rock!
Help, I’m a rock!
Somebody helps me

Wow, man, it’s a drag being a rock
(Help, I’m a rock)
(Help, I’m a rock)
(Help, I’m a rock)
I wish I was anything but a rock
Heck, I’d even like to be a policeman
Hey, you know what?
You know maybe if I practice, you know
Maybe if I pass my driving test
I could get a gig drivin’ that bus that pick the freaks up
In front of Ben Frank’s, right?

Help, I’m a cop!
Help, I’m a cop!
Help, I’m a cop!
Help, I’m a cop!
(Help, I’m a rock)
Help, I’m a cop!
(Help, I’m a rock)

It’s a drag being a cop
I think I’d rather be the mayor

Always wondered what I was gonna be when I grew up, you know
Always wondered whether or not . . . whether or not I could make it
You know, in society, because,
You know, it’s a drag when you’re rejected
So I tore the cover off a book of matches
And I sent in
And I got this letter back that said . . .

Trouble Every Day

Well I’m about to get sick
From watchin’ my TV
Been checkin’ out the news
Until my eyeballs fail to see
I mean to say that every day
Is just another rotten mess
And when it’s gonna change, my friend
Is anybody’s guess

So I’m watchin’ and I’m waitin’
Hopin’ for the best
Even think I’ll go to prayin’
Every time I hear ’em sayin’
That there’s no way to delay
That trouble comin’ every day
No way to delay
That trouble comin’ every day

Wednesday I watched the riot . . .
Seen the cops out on the street
Watched ’em throwin’ rocks and stuff
And chokin’ in the heat
Listened to reports
About the whisky passin’ ’round
Seen the smoke and fire
And the market burnin’ down
Watched while everybody
On his street would take a turn
To stomp and smash and bash and crash
And slash and bust and burn

And I’m watchin’ and I’m waitin’
Hopin’ for the best
Even think I’ll go to prayin’
Every time I hear ’em sayin’
That there’s no way to delay
That trouble comin’ every day
No way to delay
That trouble comin’ every day

Well, you can cool it,
You can heat it . . .
‘Cause, baby, I don’t need it . . .
Take your TV tube and eat it
‘N all that phony stuff on sports
‘N all the unconfirmed reports
You know I watched that rotten box
Until my head begin to hurt
From checkin’ out the way
The newsman say they get the dirt
Before the guys on channel so-and-so

And further they assert
That any show they’ll interrupt
To bring you news if it comes up
They say that if the place blows up
They will be the first to tell,
Because the boys they got downtown
Are workin’ hard and doin’ swell,
And if anybody gets the news
Before it hits the street,
They say that no one blabs it faster
Their coverage can’t be beat

And if another woman driver
Gets machine-gunned from her seat
They’ll send some joker with a brownie
And you’ll see it all complete

So I’m watchin’ and I’m waitin’
Hopin’ for the best
Even think I’ll go to prayin’
Every time I hear ’em sayin’
That there’s no way to delay
That trouble comin’ every day
No way to delay
That trouble comin’ every day

Hey, you know something people?
I’m not black
But there’s a whole lots a times
I wish I could say I’m not white

Well, I seen the fires burnin’
And the local people turnin’
On the merchants and the shops
Who used to sell their brooms and mops
And every other household item
Watched the mob just turn and bite ’em
And they say it served ’em right
Because a few of them are white,
And it’s the same across the nation
Black and white discrimination
Yellin’ “You can’t understand me!”
‘N all that other jazz they hand me
In the papers and TV and
All that mass stupidity
That seems to grow more every day
Each time you hear some nitwit say
He wants to go and do you in
Because the color of your skin
Just don’t appeal to him
(No matter if it’s black or white)
Because he’s out for blood tonight

You know we got to sit around at home
And watch this thing begin
But I bet there won’t be many live
To see it really end
‘Cause the fire in the street
Ain’t like the fire in the heart
And in the eyes of all these people
Don’t you know that this could start
On any street in any town
In any state if any clown
Decides that now’s the time to fight
For some ideal he thinks is right
And if a million more agree
There ain’t no Great Society
As it applies to you and me
Our country isn’t free
And the law refuses to see
If all that you can ever be
Is just a lousy janitor
Unless your uncle owns a store
You know that five in every four
Just won’t amount to nothin’ more
Gonna watch the rats go across the floor
And make up songs about being poor

Blow your harmonica, son!

You’re Probably Wondering Why I’m Here

Bop bop-bop bop-bop bop-BOW
Bop bop-bop bop-bop bop-BOW

You’re probably wondering
Why I’m here
And so am I
So am I

Just as much as you wonder
‘Bout me bein’ in this place
(Yeah!)
That’s just how much I marvel
At the lameness on your face
You rise each day the same old way
And join your friends out on the street
Spray your hair
And think you’re neat
I think your life is incomplete
But maybe that’s not for me to say
They only pay me here to play

(I wanna hear Caravan with a drum sola!)

You’re probably wondering
Why I’m here
And so am I
So am I

Just as much as you wonder
‘Bout me starin’ back at you
(Yeah!)
That’s just how much I question
The corny things you do

You paint your face and then you chase
To meet the gang where the action is
Stomp all night
And drink your fizz
Roll your car and say “Gee whiz!”
You tore a big hole in your convertible top
What will you tell your Mom and Pop?

(Mom, I tore a big hole in the convertible)

You’re probably wondering
Why I’m here
And so am I
So am I

Just as much as you wonder
If I mean just what I say
(Yeah!)
That’s just how much I question
The social games you play

You told your Mom you’re stoked on Tom
And went for a cruise in Freddie’s car
Tommy’s asking
Where you are
You boogied all night in a cheesy bar
Plastic boots and plastic hat
And you think you know where it’s at?

You’re probably wondering
Why I’m here
(Not that it makes a heck of a lot of a difference to ya)

I’m Not Satisfied

Yeah!

Got no place to go
(I’m tired of walking
Up and down the street all by myself)
No love left for me to give
(I tried and tried
But no one wants me the way I am)
Why should I pretend I like
To roam from door to door
Maybe I’ll just kill myself
I just don’t care no more

Because
I’m not satisfied
Everything I’ve tried
I don’t like the way
Life has been abusing me

Yeah!
Yeah!

Who would care
If I was gone
(I never met no one
Who’d care if I was dead and gone)
Who needs me
To care for them
(Nobody needs me
Why should I just hang around?)
Why should I just sit and watch
While the others smile
I just wish that someone cared
If I was happy for a while
Because
I’m not satisfied
Everything I’ve tried
I don’t like the way
Life has been abusing me

Yeah!

Anyway The Wind Blows

Any way the wind blows is-a fine with me
Any way the wind blows, it don’t matter to me
‘Cause I’m thru with-a fussin’ and-a fightin’ with-a you
I went out and found a woman who is gonna be true
She makes me oh so happy now, I’m never ever blue
Any way the wind blows,
Any way the wind blows,
Any way the wind blows

She’s my heart and soul and she loves me tenderly
Now my story can’t be told just how good she is to me
Yes, she treats me like she loves me and she never makes me cry
I’m gonna stick with her ’till the day I die
She’s not like you baby, she would never ever lie
Any way the wind blows,
Any way the wind blows,
Any way the wind blows

Any way the wind blows,
Any way the wind blows,
Any way the wind blows
Now that I am free from the troubles of the past
Took me much too long to see that our romance couldn’t last
I’m gonna go away and leave you standing at the door
I’ll tell you pretty baby I won’t be back no more
‘Cause you don’t even know what love is for
Any way the wind blows,
Any way the wind blows,
Any way the wind blows

You Didn’t Try To Call Me

You didn’t try to call me
Why didn’t ya try, didn’t ya try
Didn’t ya know I was lonely?
No matter who I take home
I keep on callin’ your name
And you . . .
I need you so bad
You’re The One, babe

Tell me, tell me
Who’s lovin’ ya now
‘Cause it worries my mind,
And I can’t sleep at all
I stayed home on Friday
Just to wait for your call
And you didn’t try to call me

Why didn’t ya try, didn’t ya try
Didn’t ya know I was lonely?
No matter who I take home
I keep on callin’ your name
And you . . .
I need you so bad
You’re The One, babe

Tell me, tell me
Who’s lovin’ ya now
‘Cause it worries my mind,
And I can’t sleep at all
I stayed home on Friday
Just to wait for your call

I can’t say what’s right or what’s wrong
But I love you
All ya gotta do is call me, babe
‘Cause I want you

You make me feel
So excited, girl
I got so hung up on you
From the moment that we met,
That no matter how I try,
I can’t keep the tears
From running down my face,
I’m all alone at my place

You didn’t try to call me
Why didn’t ya try, didn’t ya try
Didn’t ya know I was lonely?
(Baby . . . )
Why didn’t ya try, didn’t ya try
(I say, please!)
Didn’t ya know I was lonely?
I stayed home all afternoon, man
I was working on my car
I fixed the upholstery
I fixed the seat so it would tilt back
We were going to go to the drive-in
And you didn’t call me, man
I waited, it was Friday night, I remember, man
It was nine o’clock and I was sitting on home
I was still watching television and you didn’t try to call me
We’d been going steady for six weeks
And . . . I thought you were my teen-age thrill
I thought you were my teen angel, man
But you didn’t call me
I dig you so much, man, why didn’t you call me
If you could have seen me in the afternoon
I was hung up, I even washed the car
I, I reprimered the right front fender, man
We were gonna go, we were gonna go out
And get some root beer afterwards, man
(Baby!)
And I was gonna show everybody my new carburettor
(Baby!)
And you didn’t try to call me
(Girl!)

Wowie Zowie

Wowie Zowie
Your love’s a treat
Wowie Zowie
You can’t be beat
Wowie Zowie, baby
You’re so neat
I don’t even care
If you shave your legs

Wowie Zowie, baby
You’re so fine
Wowie Zowie, baby
Please be mine
Wowie Zowie
Up and down my spine
I don’t even care
If you brush your teeth

Dream of you each mornin’
I dream of you each night
Just the other day I got so shook up
I dreamed of you in the afternoon

I dream of you each mornin’
I dream of you each night
Just the other day I got so shook up
I had a flash in the afternoon

Wowie Zowie, baby
Love me do
Wowie Zowie
and I’ll love you too
Wowie Zowie, baby
I’ll be true
I don’t even care
If your dad’s the heat

(Wowie Zowie . . . )

Wowie
Wowie Zowie
Wowie
Wowie Zowie
Wowie
Wowie Zowie
Wowie
Wowie Zowie
Wowie
Wowie Zowie
Wowie
Wowie Zowie
Wowie . . .

How Could I Be Such A Fool?

When I won your love
I was very glad
Every happiness in the world
Belonged to me
Then our love was lost
And you went away
Now I shed my tears
In lonely misery

I know now that you never ever
Really loved me
It hurts me now to think you never ever
Really cared
I sit and ask myself a thousand times
To try and find
What really happened
To the love
That we shared

How could I be such a fool
How could I believe
All those lies you told me
How could I be taken in
By your sweet face
You spoiled our love
You ruined my life
I’m so tore down
I’m a terrible disgrace

But there will come a time
And you’ll regret the way
You treated me
As if I was a fool
And didn’t know
The many times you lied
About your love for me
Someone else is gonna know
That your love was just a show

How could I be such a fool
How could I believe
All those lies you told me
How could I be taken in
By your sweet face
You spoiled our love
You ruined my life
I’m so tore down
I’m a terrible disgrace

But there will come a time
And you’ll regret the way
You treated me
As if I was a fool
And didn’t know
The many times you lied
About your love for me
Someone else is gonna know
That your love was just a show

How could I be such a fool?